Turning “Embracing Failure” into “Failing Successfully” re: Fast Company

September 16, 2014 § Leave a comment

I’m not big on hype, which is why I tend to sometimes take the opposite view of things. In a terrific article in Fast Company by Rachel Gillett she writes about the hype surrounding Embracing Failure. My opposing thoughts were included, in short – let’s not glorify failure.

We don’t want to become a society that thinks of failure as a worthy goal. Failure is inevitable in life. Period. Everyone will fail at something at some point. What we can do is learn to use failure as a stepping stone to a future success, which is what I work with clients to achieve when they have failed at something. Learn how to fail successfully and every failure is a learning opportunity and a method for learning to do and think differently. Below are some thoughts I exchanged with Rachel and Fast Company on the topic.

I’m not sure exactly where the “Embrace Failure” trend is coming from. In my opinion, and based on work with clients of different ages my thought is that it’s an almost expected backlash to the “trophy for everyone”&”everyone’s a winner” mentality that we’ve been hearing for a while coupled with the new realities that people have been facing in the years since the economy took a nosedive and the world, work, consumption and expectations have changed.

In the first case, people who were raised with a sense that they “win” merely because they participate are shocked when they hit the world and workforce and find that the world isn’t rewarding them because “they are” or “they tried” or “they participated”. They have to perform, achieve&distinguish themselves and that isn’t easy to do. Sometimes they fail. They now have to learn how to process and deal with it.

In the first case, people who were raised with a sense that they “win” merely because they participate are shocked when they hit the world and workforce and find that the world isn’t rewarding them because “they are” or “they tried” or “they participated”. They have to perform, achieve&distinguish themselves and that isn’t easy to do. Sometimes they fail. They now have to learn how to process and deal with it.

In the latter case, people who worked really hard and did “all the right things” suddenly found themselves out of work, having to reinvent themselves, looking for new positions & careers at a time when they thought they were set. They had it all figured out only the world didn’t play along with the plan. They’re facing failure for the first time in many cases. Including people at the C-level who suddenly find themselves out of work for the first time. It’s a shocking experience. Hence, “embracing failure”.

I think “Embrace Failure” it’s a very old concept and it’s only in recent years that we as a society shifted away from it. I’ve always taught and coached “successful failure” to clients of all ages. The earlier people learn to cope with failure, to experience it and rise above to come back again to fight the good fight and work to achieve their goals, the better off they are.

The people who succeed in life aren’t necessarily the ones that had immediate “luck” and “success”. They’re the people who keep working at what they want to achieve. History in all areas and industries is full of stories of people who failed and continued on. The only real failure is giving up. Then, there’s no hope to achieve goals.

By the way knowing your goals and how best to go about achieving them is a huge part of the process of success. I could quote zillions of quotes here that business, arts, sciences, military, education, psychology leaders and successes have said about never giving up. I’ll use Winston Churchill’s seemingly simple words of wisdom “Never, ever, ever give up.” In order to do that, a person must know how to embrace failure, or as I work with clients to fail successfully.

Next up tips for how to turn failure into Failing Successfully.

Until then, think of a failure in your life that you wish you could have turned into a successful failure and what you’d like to do differently next time.

Enjoy the day your way,

Kiki

Day of Service. Beyond a #Hashtag.

September 11, 2014 § 1 Comment

Hi All,

On this 9/11 I’d like to suggest that when we speak of activism and service we take the time, effort & energy to make it more than #DayofService or #Activism or #Change. Simple to do really. Do something. Take action. I won’t list the many, many ways there are to participate in changing the status quo, in changing a person’s. You’re smart and resourceful. You can figure it out.

Choose an issue you care deeply and passionately about. Deeply and passionately because anything else and your motivation will fizzle out fast.

Do a bit of research on the issue and where you can fit in as an agent of change.

Do one small thing. Then another. Then another.

This is not a “do as I say, not as I do” thought. I’ve spent my life working to make people’s lives better in many different ways. From some of the toughest neighborhoods in the city to the shiny halls of government. From the page to the stage. I’ve put heels & cowboy boots on the ground and done things. One day at a time, one project at a time. One child at a time. One neighborhood and community at a time.

Do something. Anything. It can feel tiny to you but many people doing lots of small things makes a huge difference.

Do something more than #something.

Remembering and honoring those murdered on 9/11 and those who died fighting to keep us safe and those serving past and present for our freedom and safety. Remembering my friends and colleagues who died that day and those who ran through the ashes and rubble on the streets to get away. With you in spirit and love to all those who suffer the silent wounds of war.

Rebecca Kiki (RKW).

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September 4, 2014 § Leave a comment

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